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02 October 2002 @ 10:49 pm
 
Went to see my guidance counsellor today about college/.university. She assured me that despite the double-cohort, with my marks, I can get into any school I want. Oddly enough, that hasn't reassured me in the least.

So, yeah. I could get into some of the best Universities in Canada. Acceptance is one thing. How I'm going to pay for it is another. It's not like it is in the states. I don't write my SAT's and have schools seeking me out. I've got to face it - I'm not going to get any scholarships or anything. I don't have the highest marks. I don't do a lot of school activities. I'm not involved in the community.

So maybe, if I'm lucky, I might be able to apply for two scholarships - One through my dad's union, and another through the Royal Canadian Legion, since my grandpa fought in the war. I probably won't get anything though. At least if I'm an Ontario scholar I should at least get an automatic entrance scholarship of $500.

I'll apply for OSAP (Ontario Student Assistance Program), but I guarentee I won't get it. My father makes too much money. They ignore the fact that that's my father's money..I won't get a cent of it. So I guess my other choice for a student loan would be to go to the bank. But even then I'd only get $6,000 or so. And I really don't want to come out of school owing $60,000. I only have $1,000 saved up though, and $1,000 in my RRSP,(which I won't touch. I'm saving so I can have a nice couple hundred thousand- a million to retire on. No lie). I have $8,000 coming to me from when my grandpa died, but I don't want to spend it on school. I mean, he said before he died that he wanted us to spend it on something we wanted, but not something dumb like a car. I know my education is a good investment, but it seems like such a trivial way to loose one of the only things I have as a rememberence of my grandpa. I'd like to have something I could look at, or whatever, as a physical reminder. Heck, I don't know if my grandma would even let me touch that money for school.

God, how am I going to do this? I might have no choice but to go to college. Just take the basic programs..Forget the whole possibility of being a teacher. Damn it, my family isn't poor. Was just..stupid and neglectful when it came to thinking about the future of their children. It might have been okay when Devon went to college and only had about $2,000 a year for tuition.

But the average university money layout:

Tuition Fees: 4,100
Supplementary Fees: 960
Accomodation+Food: 6,700
Books+Supplies: 800
Person Expenses: 750
Entertainment: 1,000

That's not including transportation home or whatever..I'm hoping my parents will fork that out at least, either train, bus or plane fare.

I am going to have to work insane hours next summer. And a little bit over this school year. Too bad I can't cope with schoolwork and job work at the same time.

Running away seems like such a good option.
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
 
 
 
briarsequinoxbriarsequinox on October 3rd, 2002 03:16 pm (UTC)
Aw... I'm sure something will work out. Don't give up hope! And if worse comes to worse, would using your Grandpa's money or the RRSP stuff be too horrible?

Didn't you get really good grades though? Like a 90 average? And you can't win anything? I thought you'd be able to.
Lorryllorryl on October 3rd, 2002 05:31 pm (UTC)
I get good grades, but a 90 means nothing when someone else has a 91. And I really can't use the RRSP money, because the interest I lose in the years while I'm at school I can never make up.

Oh well...I'm going to try a plea bargain to OSAP, and find other ways to deal with it. Last night it was just kind of overwhelming. I'm still worried, but I'm holding out hope that something will come along..