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15 July 2002 @ 10:55 pm
 
Rejected..I think that's fitting. Maybe unwanted would work too. It seems as if my parents rarely even talk to me anymore except to nag me about things. My sleeping patterns..Working..School. Now wonder I live online; At least I can talk to people here.

I finally wrote my mother a note so she'd be allowed to get my report card from the school. It was pretty good. Overall, I had an 89.3 average for the semester (82% in OAC English, 92% in English Tutoring and 94% in Envrioment & Economy), and a 90.6 average for the year in total. That's really good for a Grade 12.

Did I get a single word of praise? No. "Just imagine how much higher those would have been if you dedicated yourself more.". Lovely. And then it moved from that, to my mother nagging at me about how in addition to marks, I need community involvement. I work three jobs right now..When does she expect me to volenteer? I don't do extra-curriculars at school, so I don't get them. And there aren't many volunteering opportunities that don't include working with old people. And quite frankly, the elderly scare me.

"Well, if you're not going to volunteer, you should have at least have gotten a 9-5 job, for 5 days a week."
Okay..I live in a village. Beside a town of 5,000. Those jobs aren't really open to teenagers..And the ones that are, include fast food, something that I refuse to do.

And then there's the whole fact that I'm 18, and I'm going to be off all alone next year at school.
Yes. I know this. Which is why I'm working, for money, so I can afford to go.

Now, I find out my parents are going to a friend's retirement party Friday night. And what are they trying to do with me? Have me go to my grandmother's. I'm 18..I'm staying home alone all summer...And they think I can't handle one night by myself? I have guns, a vicious dog, a phone, and a crossbow. I'm perfectly fine. It's so damn frustrating.

I wish I had the money, or the means to just..leave. I have no idea where I'd go. Somewhere new. Somewhere where I haven't been before. Maybe I'll take a tent and set up camp at the base of Whiteface Mountain. Or maybe I'll go to the top of Mount Ampersand.

Ick. Why do I feel guilty about ranting to this thing?
 
 
Current Mood: rejectedrejected
Current Music: The Music of the Night - Phantom of the Opera
 
 
 
cabingirl: crazy rylly everett dotg daughters goddebeastsbelle on July 15th, 2002 10:28 pm (UTC)

that sucks, laura :( i hope things get better.. and remember you can always come live in the cabana!
briarsequinox: Eeyorebriarsequinox on July 16th, 2002 07:14 am (UTC)
Your parents must have incredibly high standards! *hugs* I got 89 average and my parents were thrilled. Most of my friends get 70s averages and their parents were thrilled too. It sounds like you're working incredibly hard in school and at your jobs and you're extremely dedicated. I hope they get off your back! And you don't have to feel guilty about ranting in your journal, that's one of its many uses!
tea berry-blueteaberryblue on July 16th, 2002 08:29 am (UTC)
but...

mountains don't have net connexes.

i read this last night while i was IMing you and i wanted to say something to you but didn't want to make you feel compelled to talk about it.

i worked in high school, but i was lucky. it was for book money and fun money, and i could have quit if i had to. i was so damn lucky, now that i think about it. i never thought about all the things i would have had to give up in high school if i'd had to be working.

those are some excellent scores. i have a feeling US school is a bit more generous in the grading; i had...i think i had a 93.5 average for my entire high school career, and i had SWS and teachers who would let me do independent work when i didn't like the real assignments.

talking to people like you really make me want to work with teenagers, or at least come to your school and kick some butts to get them to shake up the program a little. i never enter the lottery but if by some fluke i come into some money, one of the first things i'll do is put some aside for your college. and get you a DSL connection.

tea