July 15th, 2002

Vivaldi, Queen of Hearts

(no subject)

Rejected..I think that's fitting. Maybe unwanted would work too. It seems as if my parents rarely even talk to me anymore except to nag me about things. My sleeping patterns..Working..School. Now wonder I live online; At least I can talk to people here.

I finally wrote my mother a note so she'd be allowed to get my report card from the school. It was pretty good. Overall, I had an 89.3 average for the semester (82% in OAC English, 92% in English Tutoring and 94% in Envrioment & Economy), and a 90.6 average for the year in total. That's really good for a Grade 12.

Did I get a single word of praise? No. "Just imagine how much higher those would have been if you dedicated yourself more.". Lovely. And then it moved from that, to my mother nagging at me about how in addition to marks, I need community involvement. I work three jobs right now..When does she expect me to volenteer? I don't do extra-curriculars at school, so I don't get them. And there aren't many volunteering opportunities that don't include working with old people. And quite frankly, the elderly scare me.

"Well, if you're not going to volunteer, you should have at least have gotten a 9-5 job, for 5 days a week."
Okay..I live in a village. Beside a town of 5,000. Those jobs aren't really open to teenagers..And the ones that are, include fast food, something that I refuse to do.

And then there's the whole fact that I'm 18, and I'm going to be off all alone next year at school.
Yes. I know this. Which is why I'm working, for money, so I can afford to go.

Now, I find out my parents are going to a friend's retirement party Friday night. And what are they trying to do with me? Have me go to my grandmother's. I'm 18..I'm staying home alone all summer...And they think I can't handle one night by myself? I have guns, a vicious dog, a phone, and a crossbow. I'm perfectly fine. It's so damn frustrating.

I wish I had the money, or the means to just..leave. I have no idea where I'd go. Somewhere new. Somewhere where I haven't been before. Maybe I'll take a tent and set up camp at the base of Whiteface Mountain. Or maybe I'll go to the top of Mount Ampersand.

Ick. Why do I feel guilty about ranting to this thing?
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